Always dreamed of running a brothel? The Bordell im Kietz von Berlin-Rixdorf in Berlin has a vacancy for a manager, and they’re auctioning the job off on eBay with a starting bid of €2.50. The ad is in German, but luckily The Gloss contributor Megan Carpentier stepped in and did translating duties.
One of the oldest of Berlin’s neighborhood brothels — open since 1980 in a good neighborhood in a beautiful restaurant type old building — is seeking a new operator.
[Some technical jargon describing the space.]
Comes with:
A bar with counter and dispensing equipment, as well as complete bar equipment (see photos)
Mens/Ladies bathrooms plus separate shower room with washing machine
3 separate and decorated bedrooms with sinks
1 cinema room with small stage
Dressing room and separate storage space for restaurant supplies
No contract with a brewery
Gaming machines and cigarette maching could be held over
The complete infrastructure, including all technical aspects, is ready for an operator, the business is ready to go.
Call this number (please don’t block the caller ID). You are bidding here on a completely furnished and ready-to-go bordello including furnishings. Bids are subject to the solvency of the bidder before the transaction can be completed. An inspection is required before a competitive bid.
Did you know he also has a poetry book? Several, in fact. You haven’t lived until you’ve read his erotic poems in Spock voices.
There is so much awesome on this Etsy page that I can’t really summarize it. You just have to hear (and see) it straight from the source.
Nimoy’s inspiration for this project came from Ancient Greece.
Inspired by Aristophanes’ theory that humans were once double-sided creatures but later split by the gods, Nimoy’s photographs reveal his subjects’ other half. The people on these shirts illustrate their hidden half.
There’s always room in the budget for a little online shopping. Especially since it’s bathing suit season. And you should probably get a head start on your winter wardrobe while you’re at at. That’s the beauty of online shopping, you can buy clothes at your convenience. You want to know what else is great about shopping online? Review boards.
Review boards offer a safe place for shoppers to share their likes and dislikes about a product. I’ve been in store dressing rooms plenty of times where I’ve received stares of harsh judgment when I try on a not-so-flattering pair of jeans or a dress that makes me look like a giant blob. I can’t take criticism like that. I need to try clothes on in the comfort of my own home.
As I joyfully make my online purchases, I like to see what other customers have to say about the clothing. If everyone writes a negative review, I will most likely not buy it. But lately, it has been called to my attention that women are using review boards as a self- loathing mechanism. I’ve collected a few swimsuit reviews to demonstrate this point. I give you exhibit A:
I love this material, but I wish you made it without side ties! Side ties remind me of the 90s or something… not in a good way… and don’t look flattering on me. [Liz on American Apparel]
Well, Liz, I’m sorry that the swimsuit did not live up to your expectations, but no one cares that it isn’t flattering to your figure. What about the suit itself? Is the color nice? Is it well made? Your terrible review has left us with unanswered questions. Exhibit B:
Not so cute on the average girl. Unfortunately, I’ll have to return it, just not flattering on my figure. Too bad, I think it’s a really cute suit. [Jenna P. on Anthropologie]
This review makes me sad. Jenna P. admits to “think[ing] it’s a really cute suit,” yet she returned it because it’s not “flattering to [her] figure.” I’m sensing an overwhelming amount of self- hate here, and that is what makes me sad. That aside, I do not appreciate Jenna P.’s generalization that the swimsuit does not look “cute on the average girl.” Just because you have body issues does not give you license to thrust them onto other people. Exhibit C:
If you would like to look like a flat board with weirdly shaped giant triangles over your chest this is perfect. Me, I do not enjoy the look. Gross. I returned it as fast as i could. [Ellebelle on Urban Outfitters]
Maybe you look like a flat board because you have no chest, Ellebelle. There’s nothing gross or wrong with that, but please don’t blame the innocent swimsuit.
I’d like to take this time to appreciate the fact that everyone comes in different shapes and sizes, but that’s the beauty of life (cliché, yes). Let’s leave the review boards for actual product reviews and do away with comments on body dissatisfaction.
That said, it possibly killed a 30-year-old British woman who had a heart attack while using her vibrator. Terrifying! – The Frisky
TheGloss columnist Brooke Moreland and her website, Fashism.com, are featured in a New York Times article about “sites that offer public feedback on your clothes.” We’re obviously biased, but it’s a great read. – NYT
Remember the Freshman Fifteen? Well, now there’s a “Twenties 20.” Wait, are you trying to tell me I can’t live off of pizza, beer, and a sedentary lifestyle forever? Hogwash. – Lemondrop
Now that Harrod’s is under new management, will the UK megastore change? There are no firm answers, but they alluded to China on the internet. I love buying china on the internet too! – The Guardian
Mary J. Blige is branching out into an eyewear line. It will be called Melodies by MJB. – Thread NY
There’s a new ecommerce site called Soap.com launching. But do you really need another way to buy beauty basics? – The Business Insider
There has been a heat wave in New York. Yeah, people without air conditioning are dying or whatever, but luckily fancy chocolatier Jacques Torres was able to keep all their chocolate from melting. – Crain’s
When used improperly and without restraint, eBay can ruin lives–the eBabes have certainly lost a few friends to the site. Whether through selling or bidding, auctions can consume a person without much warning. If you think your friend might have an eBay problem, look for these signs:
1. You have confusing emails from them in the middle of the night.
Duude,
Do you think Gaga used a Kleenex in Manhattan last Thursday??!?!!? It’s for sale I NEED TO KNOW GET BACK TO ME PLEASEEELKJS
2. They’re pale and sleep deprived.
eBay makes you stay up all night, guys. It makes you search for vintage wooden platform clog sandals until you can’t see straight. It makes the few hours of sleep you do get full of nightmares about street gang bidding wars. And eBay is certainly the best reason to avoid leaving the house. These auctions aren’t going to win themselves, OK?!
3. Their hands shake.
Bidding on eBay all day can take a toll on even the most experienced typer. Hitting the “Bid Now” button hundreds of times daily might prompt a kind of twitch in the wrist.
4. They start emptying out their apartment.
Once the buying habit gets out of control, she realizes she is going to need to do some selling to get their PayPal balance out of the basement. Your friend’s laptop, stereo, first edition novels…they all start disappearing. You know how you can’t find your iPod? We’re not insinuating anything, just saying.
5. They start alienating family and friends.
Your friend is distant and aloof, and you can sometimes hear her muttering, “Buy it, buy it now.” She rarely makes eye contact, and when she does, you see a crazed addict, not the friend you know and love. When you tell her you want to talk, she tells you to send her a message or check the FAQs.
6. They want to bid on everything.
Even a simple trip to the bodega becomes a hassle when your friend tries to offer a dollar more than the customer in front of her for the last box of Wheaties.
7. They start to smell funny.
Your friend has developed a slightly musty smell, mostly emanating from her retro clothing, and after you leave her company, your hands always feel dirty. Being shut up inside all day doesn’t do much for airing her vintage outfits out.
So what do you do?
eBay is unique. You sell your old stuff, and people buy it. You pay less than you ever would for designer and vintage clothes. It’s going to be hard to convince your friend that eBay isn’t that great, because it is. We’d recommend introducing other forms of shopping into your friend’s life: flea markets, vintage stores, even a basic discount mall could give your friend the same high she’s used to getting off of eBay. Hopefully after your friend sees that there is life after eBay, she can get her usage down to a normal amount. Maybe four or five hours a day, like us. That’s totally normal. Or you could recommend she go cold turkey.
I guess hastily adding the word “ad” at the end of a tweet means it’s a paid tweet, right? And if it’s a paid ad, then I seriously doubt she actually “bought” that scarf and hobo bag. And why would Burberry select someone like Lindsay to hawk their wares? I don’t think an endorsement from her really means as much as it would have at the height of her fame. Right now, she’ll put her name on anything. Would Burberry want to cheapen their brand in that way? I mean, they have Emma Watson in their print ads – she’s a much better face for the company.
Also, if Burberry would like to pay other people to tweet about the fact that they are having a sale, we made it abundantly clear that we are open to bribery.
UPDATE:Fashionista notes that Lohan previously tweeted about buying a Balenciaga bag on Beyond the Rack, which actually makes sense – Beyond the Rack is the one paying Lohan for her tweets, not Burberry.
I received a package in the mail the other day that I am afraid to open. It’s still sitting there, right on the kitchen table, and what’s inside may or may not be the answer to all of my jean-related prayers.
About a month or so ago I read about Indidenim.com, a company that lets you design your own jeans on their site and then constructs them to your exact specifications. Sick of the hours spent shopping and trying on jeans that never fit quite right, I decided to try it out and see if I could do a better job than Hudson or 7 for All Mankind. But now that the holy grail of denim is sitting right in front of me on that table, and I just can’t bring myself to open the box. After all, what if I finally get everything I ask for in a pair of jeans- mid-rise, skinny leg, straight ankles, a soft-dark wash- and I still don’t like them, then what the hell am I going to do? My dissatisfaction with the current jeans on the market-that is what led me to scour the internet late one Saturday night looking for alternatives, so I feel like these jeans may be my last shot at denim happiness. I guess I could always switch to khakis.
While I stall and put off my inevitable satisfaction of trying on these jeans, let’s go step by step through the process of creating the perfect jeans.The IndiDenim site is nice, clean and easy to navigate. The styles look very cool and promising, and the process is very thorough, if a bit tedious at times. They ask a lot of questions and they really want to tap in to what you want, even if you don’t quite know, or can’t put it into words. But this luxury and service doesn’t come cheap. The lowest end jeans start at $145 and the price increases with fabric upgrades and special add-ons. However, if you are used to shopping for premium denim, these prices shouldn’t scare you. It’s about what you would pay for other high-end jeans, but if you consider that this company is only producing one pair of a particular design at a time, then it is actually pretty impressive that they can be made this cheaply.
The journey begins with selecting a cut from the four options: slim fit, relaxed fit, trouser fit and plus fit. After selecting slim fit (my recommendation, because it is by far the chicest of the options) something called the jeans launcher opens up. Your jeans are placed on a virtual mannequin and you are ready to get customizing. Now it gets fun. I suddenly feel like I am a little girl with paper dolls, or a gamer dressing up my second life alter ego. It’s fun feeling in control, which is not usually how I feel when I am shopping for jeans.
The next step is choosing a fabric. You are provided with high quality photos and detailed descriptions. Of course, all the really cool fabrics are about $15 extra. But hey, if you want the perfect jeans, they should be, well, perfect.
After the fabric, you will choose the rise. Now, this was the part I was waiting for. I am so sick of low-rise jeans I could puke. Sure they were fun when I was a teenager with a flat tummy and a job as a lifeguard at the local pool, but now I’m a professional woman! There is nothing less professional than a muffin-top or worse, visible bellybutton and/or fat rolls, amirite? Yes I know that there are higher-rised jeans on the market now, but I implore you to find a good pair of highish rise jeans that are not boot cut. It is really hard. For some reason designers always put these 2 together. It’s always skinny jeans/straight leg, or high-rise/boot cut. It is infuriating. Can’t I be fashion conscious and a little body conscious at the same time?! So I promptly selected the high-rise and then the skinny leg. I also threw in a button fly for kicks.
The next steps are the selecting the little details you probably never think about. How big of a hem? what about a back pocket design? A coin pocket? I mainly just glided through these choices quickly, haphazardly selecting the little details and finishing touches.
Then comes the sizing. This is where they get down and dirty. They ask for every size imaginable. Pants, bra, dress, etc. Then they ask for exact measurements. Then, to make absolutely sure they will fit (there are no exchanges for obvious reasons) you select your body type from a selection of illustrations.
When you are all finished with your selections, you can add your designs to design vault, which is a gallery of designs that other people an puruse and order from. I named mine “The Brookie” because that’s what people call me and I really couldn’t think of anything better.
So now is the moment of truth. I need to try these jeans on and see how I did.
Ok, the legs of the jeans are fitting waay tighter than I imagined. I was so concerned with getting the waist and length right, I really didn’t think to much about leg width. I guess when they say slim fit, they mean, well slim fit. As I walk around a bit they are starting to loosen up a bit. Ok, maybe these will be okay. The waist is perfect: High rise, not too tight and not too loose. The length is hair on the short side, but ultimately pretty close to perfect. The wash is dark and a nice shade of blue.
Lucky for our closets, our eBay habits are not totally passive. We don’t just imagine what Gaga is browsing on eBay; we buy things every so often. And while we both have tons of great things to say about eBay, sometimes things don’t work out. If you remember, Anna had a close call with a seller regarding a vintage floral train case (all was resolved, thankfully). But I just had my first issue recently. I won a simple, J.Crew tote bag about a month ago and paid for it right away. I promptly forgot about it. But last week, while I was hoisting my old, dirty tote up over my shoulder, it hit me: Where is that bag?
I grilled my roommates about packing slips or boxes lying around. I called my local post office. No one knew anything. I checked my past orders to see if there was a tracking number I could use. No number. I sent the seller a message asking when she planned to ship it. She responded that she had shipped it three weeks before, and that I should have it a while ago. She didn’t have a receipt or a tracking number, though. No proof of shipping, eh? Surely this is not an uncommon situation – the seller claims to have shipped it via USPS with no tracking number, and they’ve already received your payment. At this point, if the seller has no intention of refunding you, it’s time to open a case with eBay’s Resolution Center, which is exactly what I did. I gave them the details of my purchase and then they contacted the seller to get both sides of the disagreement. It’s up to them to provide a resolution, and it typically favors the buyer.
I know you’re dying to know what happened with my bag. I was refunded the money for both the auction and the shipping. If the bag shows up on my doorstep, I’ll go through PayPal and repay the seller, and if the seller gets the package, I guess she can let me know. I’m not sure I’d want to deal with the same seller and method of shipping again, though I’m sure it was an honest mistake. Or an evil scam. Either way, I think I’ll be looking elsewhere (on eBay, of course) for a new bag.
So, if you think eBay has let you down, don’t despair. Just pick yourself up, dust off your credit card, and make sure to check seller’s ratings before you commit to buy. Also, don’t be afraid to be brutally honest and detailed with your reviews.
It’s not just former 16 and Pregnant “stars” who try to make money selling their old stuff on eBay. Plenty of celebrities – or people who claim to have stuff once owned, touched, or looked at by celebrities – also try to sell their stuff on our favorite site. Here are a couple of the weirdest ones.
Always dreamed of running a brothel? The Bordell im Kietz von Berlin-Rixdorf in Berlin has a vacancy for a manager, and they’re auctioning the job off on eBay with a starting bid of €2.50. The ad is in German, but luckily The Gloss contributor Megan Carpentier stepped in and did translating duties.
