What the hell is “greige”? Is it a chic form of grunge (like that ill-fated Marc Jacobs show that was full of flannel)? Perhaps a rare fish? No, it’s a word that Elle Canada just invented to try and describe the very odd union of the colors gray (or, in their Northern parlance, “grey”) and beige. That said, they didn’t have an example of exactly what “greige” looks like, so we might have to put this particular neologism back in the closet for now.
Post from: TheGloss
Yesterday, I regaled you with tales of Brazilian bikini waxes gone wrong. While reading that, you no doubt noticed that I said I had scheduled one for this morning, and you’ve probably been all, “how did it go?!” allllll morning.
Well, it’s done, and I’m here to tell you, that was FUCKING HORRIBLE.
I’m not going to sugarcoat this. 30 minutes ago, someone poured hot wax on the pubic hair on my inner labia (inner labia pubic hair, I barely knew ye) and ripped it out by the roots. This horrible procedure was repeated several times, on both ssides of my poor, aching vagina, then again on my asscrack, which frankly, by that point, felt like a cool sip of refreshing mojito on a hot summer’s day.
I know I’m not the first person to get a Brazilian, and I’m sure I’m not the first to document it. In fact, people probably stopped documenting it about three years ago because the story had reached the point of oversaturation, which makes my tale of woe and wax either adorable in it’s retro naivete, or painfully tardy to the party. I don’t really care. Right now, as I sit on my Pilates ball to write this, my vagina stings and smarts. The aloe gel that I put on it 15 minutes ago is sticking to my underwear. And I’m sure that when I go to hit the pool tomorrow — the entire point of this modern-day torture — I will have giant splotches of red, angry bumps, my vagina’s way of saying NO MEANS NO.
But here’s something you probably aren’t expecting me to say: I think I’m going to do it again.
The very few times in my life that I’ve had bikini waxes, the same thing always happens. I forget how hideous it is (granted — none of them have ever been as hideous as this one), and I don’t do it again for 3-5 years because I’m like, fuck THAT noise. But any waxer, as you know, will tell you it gets easier with time, and that is a theory I’ve never tested.
Why would I want to test it, you ask? Well — I want to know, living here in Southern California as I do, what it would feel like to be bikini-ready at all times (as we’ve discussed here before). What if a spontaneous invitation to the beach DIDN’T mean a frantic trip to Rite-Aid, followed by cowering in a bathroom stall hunched over my pubic area with a razor and a stick of deoderant (helps relieve razor rash) trying to get under the best lighting possible so that no stray pube went unshaved? Would it be a relief? Or do I actually not get that many spontaneous invivations to the beach?
I think I’m going to find out, ladies. So I’ll check back with you in about a month, after another 15 minutes of hot wax to the ‘gi. In the meantime, I’m off to the pool (after I blog a few more times).
Post from: TheGloss
We’re giving away free products! Become a fan of The Gloss on Facebook now and you’ll be entered to win this Philosophy fragrance and skincare pack featuring Eternal Grace eau de toilette and multipurpose shower gel. You have until Wednesday, September 8 at 5 p.m. EST to click here and hit the “Like” button.
Post from: TheGloss
The AW10 runways were abundant with looks inspired by the classic beauty of the 1960s. That means the cat-eye is this season’s must have makeup look.
Since there’s no one we trust more than MAC to show us how to create the perfect ’60s inspired look, I headed over to their studios to find out the best way to translate runway makeup into real life.
In this video, artist Fatima Thomas creates a flawless cat-eye that’s easy to recreate at home with a bit of focus. The end result is glamorous and would look perfect with a Prada knit and kitten heels. If only those were as easy to attain….
Once upon a time, I was given the opportunity to get my asscrack waxed. I declined politely, opting instead for what I still thought was too much hair removal — the hair on my labia.
I was, in case you’re wondering, in a waxing salon, and I had, in case you’re also wondering, requested a Brazilian wax.
But when push came to shove — or, when wax came to asshole — I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
I think it mostly had to do with my aesthetician. She was a small, wiry pixie of a woman, and she seemed to almost laugh at me when I told her I wanted to keep some hair on my labia. “You do KNOW what a Brazilian is, don’t you??” I wanted to punch her in her little Tinkerbell face. Of course I KNOW, BITCH. (Is that better?! Is BITCH better??!!) I just don’t want to look like a prepubescent child.
Anyway, despite my misgivings, she refused to do the wax at all unless she could take from me what mother nature rightfully gave. I was already there, so I said “fuck it” and let her render my outers hairless, but by the time she was done I had already decided that she wasn’t going anywhere near my ’sphinct. I picked up my pants and what was left of my dignity and hightailed it out of there, and I never went back.
But now — now things are different! The world is a different place. Everyone’s getting hair removed from everywhere, and while I know that the practice is still rife with controversy, I’m finally ready to do it, and I have my first appointment scheduled for tomorrow. YES!
Honestly, I feel a little embarrassed that as a sassy ladyblogger, I’ve never tried this most basic of modern-woman grooming. Of course I know that just as many women choose to rock a full bush as choose to rock a nude vuvla. But I’m excited for this, and I’ll tell you why…
Swimming.
That’s right — I am getting everything waxed, from taint to tailbone (and beyond!), succumbing to feminism’s most direct affront, letting Gloria Steinem herself down, causing the ghost of Betty Friedan to roll over in her grave, because I’m going somewhere hot for the weekend and I want to be able to hit the pool without worrying about any pubes popping out, anywhere.
Is my fiance excited? Sure. Is that a bonus? Why not. I’m not in the market to deliberately not do things he likes. But this, ladies, is about practicality. I’m doing it. I can’t wait.
Post from: TheGloss
Love junk food? Or maybe just junky drinks? These nails can help you express your allegiance to your unhealthy food of choice.
[Via Fashionably Geek]
Post from: TheGloss
Look, I’ve never really understood why lady products have to advertise so much to begin with. They’re lady products. You go to the store, you buy the same kind you always use. You buy them because you need them, not because they’re going to make you swirl and twirl and wear white pants.
But you know what’s incredibly creepy? The idea that THESE lady products will mean that I’m trapped in a relationship with the guy who has OCD and cleans all day because he can’t have a messy home. Way to make use of those medical degrees to procure crystal meth, guy.
Why is he laying out maxi pads on the piano? Why is he segueing from talking about his mother to talking about maxi-pads? Why is he talking about maxi pads at all? Why does he keep using the word moist? The word moist is just commonly acknowledged to be a gross word, isn’t it? There was a How I Met Your Mother about it.
These commercials don’t make me think “Hilarious Old Spice guy.” These commercials make me think “Norman Bates, but attractive.”
Post from: TheGloss
As today is National 90210 Day (it’s probably not official, but I’m going to go ahead, bang the gavel and make 9/02/10 a national holiday), we are celebrating everything 90210. Alright, so we all know Tori Spelling got a nose job … or two … or three and possibly double digits of Botox injections and possibly a face lift and possibly some other facial plastic surgeries. She even revealed in her book, Stori Telling, that her mother told her she would be pretty once she got a nose job. Unfortunately, her mother didn’t tell her that matching her dress to her book cover at book signings is stupid and a little obnoxious. Ok, so I’m ripping on Tori a little. So let’s change the mood and celebrate her on this glorious 9021o day. Here’s to Tori, and the stori (hee) of her nose …
Post from: TheGloss
We love Philosophy skincare, makeup and fragrances as much as the next girl, and we’re exciting that you can now buy these products through QVC, too. To mark the sale of Philosophy products on QVC, The Gloss is giving one lucky Facebook fan a prize pack full of Philosophy products, valued at $80.
One fan will receive the new Philosophy Eternal Grace Spray Fragrance and Shower Gel duo, which includes a 3-in-1 perfumed shampoo, bath and shower gel and matching eau de toilette in Philosophy’s floral, citrusy Eternal Grace scent, and Philosophy’s skin care set, with one-step facial cleanser, microdelivery micro-massage exfoliating wash and microdelivery Vitamin C/peptide peel and its activator, which evens skin tone, smooths skin texture and reduces the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.
In order to win this amazing prize pack, all you have to do is become a fan of The Gloss on Facebook. If you are already our fan, don’t worry, you’ve automatically been entered to win. If not, you have until Wednesday, September 8, at 5 p.m. EST to become our fan. Click here and hit the “Like” button to become a fan of The Gloss. Winners will be announced on The Gloss and notified via Facebook message on Thursday, September 9. You must have a U.S. mailing address in order to be eligible to win (no PO boxes).
Become a fan of The Gloss today, for access to more giveaways like this coming up soon. And check out the full Philosophy collection available on QVC here
Post from: TheGloss
Matthew McConaughey (yes, I copy and pasted his impossible-to-spell last name) is known for his ruggedly handsome all-American good looks. So it’s no question why Dolce & Gabbana wanted the leather-skinned Texan to front their campaign for a new fragrance, “The One Gentleman.” But with one glance at the advertisement, it seems the D&G ad team decided to go Photoshop-happy on Matthew. The actor is clearly proud of his body and his looks as he is often seen partially (or fully) naked and obviously takes care of himself. So why make him look like a lanky male model? The differences between Matthew McConaughey Photoshopped and Matthew McConaughey au naturale are clear:
Is there anything else you think makes Matthew in the D&G fragrance ad look fake?
Post from: TheGloss
